Brief update. Evalyn is over 5 pounds and Lillian is at 4 pounds 9 oz. At this point weight is not what would keep them from coming home. Lillian is struggling with bottle feeding. Evalyn is doing better but only at 3 feedings a day. They need to be doing all of their feeding (8 per day) from bottle or breast before they can come home. The doctors have also had to increase their diuretic. Their breathing was too rapid which indicates too much fluid in the lungs.
At this point the scary stuff is over. The girls will be fine, we just want them to come home. On my way into the office this morning there was a story on people who help sick children understand and cope with what's going on around them. I can't remember their title, but that's irrelevant anyway. They described a boy with leukemia as having a feeding tube in his nose. I started tearing up and just about had to pull over. It was one of those moments where the stress of the situation bubbled up.
It feels like I have twin girls in theory only. It's been over 9 weeks since the girls were born and we've never seen them without tape on their face. Heidi and I have regular conversations with each other and the nurses where we wonder what they look like and how much they look like each other, we don't know yet. I've given Evalyn a bottle once. We have to ask permission before we can hold them. In every way that matters Dawson is still the youngest child. Jackson and Preston are barely aware that they have two sisters. I hate the empty crib in our room, but most of all I HATE having no idea of when they'll come home.
As unpleasant as that is it could be so much worse. Our girls have only flirted with the really scary health stuff. The staff at the NICU are wonderful and make our visits enjoyable. We have had so much help from friends and family that have made it possible for Heidi to spend 3+ hours at the hospital every day. We've received a lot of strength from our Heavenly Father and the prayers of others.
We are aware of and terrified by the stress that will come with full time care of our girls. But we're ready to dance with a different devil.
Can't imagine how hard this is. Prayers continue.
ReplyDeleteTheir weight is amazing!!! What a blessing that they are doing so good. Just remember...in a few years, this will be a memory, and a really great story whenever you have to talk to your kids about faith, or prayer, or trusting in the Lord when things don't seem to be going right, or...whatever (it seems to work in every gospel principle.) I look at my boys now and can't believe they are those two tiny babies that we prayed our hearts out for and cried many tears over. Hang in there, you guys are doing awesome.
ReplyDeleteThanks for the continued prayers and encouragement ladies. Their weights are great. That's probably one of the reasons it's so hard to think they're not ready to come home yet. Trying to be patient and look on the bright side. And very good point D'neill! Now we just wait. :)
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